After her abortion Christina tried to get back to the business of life but school didn't interest her anymore. Auntie & uncle needed her to go to work anyway to make herself useful. And here began the downward spiral of more casual sex, substance abuse, and depression. Fast forward 18 years. Christina is 35, trying to hold it together with a string of nowhere jobs and is working in a fast food restaurant, that is where we meet. She tells a friend of mine, also having lunch that same day at the same time I am there, that she plans on having an abortion. They come to me and say, "That girl behind the counter is pregnant and contemplating an abortion, will you talk with her?" I said that I would if she would be willing to talk to me. We spoke a little in the restaurant and agreed to meet the next day. I went to her run down rented mobile home and knocked on the door, we greeted each other, she invited me in, I sat down and we began to talk. She revealed to me her teenage abortion experience and the suffering she has endured as a result of the loss of that child. She enumerated the problems she was currently having with her lack of education, her inability to generate a sufficient income, her transportation problems and her self esteem. She was concerned with a looming car repair bill of one thousand dollars. "Well, you know," I said, "if you have the abortion, your car will still need to be fixed, only you will be the mother of two dead children instead of one." You would have thought I had struck her in the face by her reaction, but it seemed to wake her from her "I have to kill my baby, there's no other way" stupor. "That is so true" Christina said. "I will help you Christina. Whatever it takes, whatever you need, I will help you." The car was fixed by a bunch of my friends working through the Society of St. Vincent De Paul in my parish. The pregnancy was a tough one. The forces of darkness were not willing to let this child go easily. There were many tears shed, sleepless nights and even some visits to a locked psychiatric ward - new experience for me. The day her son was born was indeed a joy. That was almost five years ago. Time passes so quickly. It hasn't been easy all the time for her or for me, but it hasn't been hard all the time either. It's just pretty much been like regular life, filled with ups and downs, good times and bad, joys and sufferings. She has come a long way. Finishing her high school education, starting on college, buying her own home. I'm very proud of her and her son is adorable, I see him from time to time. She always tells me she wishes I had been her mom. We don't get to pick our mothers. God gives us the mother He chooses for us. We do the best with what we've been given, that's all God expects, our best. Life is beautiful, never forget that.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Full Circle, An Abortion Story of Hope
This is the abortion story of Christina. Christina is not her real name, but her pain is very real. She is a 38 year old single mother of a soon to be 5 year old boy. Christina grew up in a home of 6 children, all of which had different fathers. She never knew her father, her mother knew who her father was (maybe) but refused to tell. Christina spent most of her childhood looking for love. When she became a teen she was still confused about the meaning of love as she had no one to show her. She began substituting sex for love and soon became pregnant by an older man(father figure breaking the law) who was a casual sexual acquaintance. At this time she was living with friends but her pregnancy soon became the reason for her homelessness. She went from place to place and finally ended up at the home of an aunt and uncle. When she confided to her cousin that she was pregnant her aunt said that she could stay, but her baby could not. Nice. She was 18 weeks pregnant at this time and she could feel the baby moving quite a bit. Her uncle agreed to pay the $500 for the abortion(wow, nice guy) but her aunt and uncle could not sign for her to have the abortion because her mother was her legal guardian. No problem said mom, I will just give you guardianship then you can get her the abortion. Christina was 18 weeks and 3 days pregnant at the age of 16 when she had her abortion. It was a 2 day procedure, she had a suction abortion. She talked about how badly it hurt, how she was in so much pain, she will never forget the pain and when it was over she told me she felt like she had died and that her insides were dead. Is your heart breaking yet?
After her abortion Christina tried to get back to the business of life but school didn't interest her anymore. Auntie & uncle needed her to go to work anyway to make herself useful. And here began the downward spiral of more casual sex, substance abuse, and depression. Fast forward 18 years. Christina is 35, trying to hold it together with a string of nowhere jobs and is working in a fast food restaurant, that is where we meet. She tells a friend of mine, also having lunch that same day at the same time I am there, that she plans on having an abortion. They come to me and say, "That girl behind the counter is pregnant and contemplating an abortion, will you talk with her?" I said that I would if she would be willing to talk to me. We spoke a little in the restaurant and agreed to meet the next day. I went to her run down rented mobile home and knocked on the door, we greeted each other, she invited me in, I sat down and we began to talk. She revealed to me her teenage abortion experience and the suffering she has endured as a result of the loss of that child. She enumerated the problems she was currently having with her lack of education, her inability to generate a sufficient income, her transportation problems and her self esteem. She was concerned with a looming car repair bill of one thousand dollars. "Well, you know," I said, "if you have the abortion, your car will still need to be fixed, only you will be the mother of two dead children instead of one." You would have thought I had struck her in the face by her reaction, but it seemed to wake her from her "I have to kill my baby, there's no other way" stupor. "That is so true" Christina said. "I will help you Christina. Whatever it takes, whatever you need, I will help you." The car was fixed by a bunch of my friends working through the Society of St. Vincent De Paul in my parish. The pregnancy was a tough one. The forces of darkness were not willing to let this child go easily. There were many tears shed, sleepless nights and even some visits to a locked psychiatric ward - new experience for me. The day her son was born was indeed a joy. That was almost five years ago. Time passes so quickly. It hasn't been easy all the time for her or for me, but it hasn't been hard all the time either. It's just pretty much been like regular life, filled with ups and downs, good times and bad, joys and sufferings. She has come a long way. Finishing her high school education, starting on college, buying her own home. I'm very proud of her and her son is adorable, I see him from time to time. She always tells me she wishes I had been her mom. We don't get to pick our mothers. God gives us the mother He chooses for us. We do the best with what we've been given, that's all God expects, our best. Life is beautiful, never forget that.
After her abortion Christina tried to get back to the business of life but school didn't interest her anymore. Auntie & uncle needed her to go to work anyway to make herself useful. And here began the downward spiral of more casual sex, substance abuse, and depression. Fast forward 18 years. Christina is 35, trying to hold it together with a string of nowhere jobs and is working in a fast food restaurant, that is where we meet. She tells a friend of mine, also having lunch that same day at the same time I am there, that she plans on having an abortion. They come to me and say, "That girl behind the counter is pregnant and contemplating an abortion, will you talk with her?" I said that I would if she would be willing to talk to me. We spoke a little in the restaurant and agreed to meet the next day. I went to her run down rented mobile home and knocked on the door, we greeted each other, she invited me in, I sat down and we began to talk. She revealed to me her teenage abortion experience and the suffering she has endured as a result of the loss of that child. She enumerated the problems she was currently having with her lack of education, her inability to generate a sufficient income, her transportation problems and her self esteem. She was concerned with a looming car repair bill of one thousand dollars. "Well, you know," I said, "if you have the abortion, your car will still need to be fixed, only you will be the mother of two dead children instead of one." You would have thought I had struck her in the face by her reaction, but it seemed to wake her from her "I have to kill my baby, there's no other way" stupor. "That is so true" Christina said. "I will help you Christina. Whatever it takes, whatever you need, I will help you." The car was fixed by a bunch of my friends working through the Society of St. Vincent De Paul in my parish. The pregnancy was a tough one. The forces of darkness were not willing to let this child go easily. There were many tears shed, sleepless nights and even some visits to a locked psychiatric ward - new experience for me. The day her son was born was indeed a joy. That was almost five years ago. Time passes so quickly. It hasn't been easy all the time for her or for me, but it hasn't been hard all the time either. It's just pretty much been like regular life, filled with ups and downs, good times and bad, joys and sufferings. She has come a long way. Finishing her high school education, starting on college, buying her own home. I'm very proud of her and her son is adorable, I see him from time to time. She always tells me she wishes I had been her mom. We don't get to pick our mothers. God gives us the mother He chooses for us. We do the best with what we've been given, that's all God expects, our best. Life is beautiful, never forget that.
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